My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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