420 ftw
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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