i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
