Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
