you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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