Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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