nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
