and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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