He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
