it hurts more in the daytime
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize