you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
