yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
