I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina is officially offended.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
