even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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