he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
