i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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