She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
