I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
