my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
