If that was your dad, he is hot
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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