i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
