Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
