pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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