I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
