My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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