Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize