Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
