If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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