Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
