so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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