it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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