apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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