ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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