is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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