She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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