Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
