He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
