Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This is my gift to your gina
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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