no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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