He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
