Are we in a gay sports bar?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
