i think my mom watched the whole time
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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