im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
