Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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