I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
