I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
