She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it because I queefed?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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