I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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