This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
