i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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