but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
