i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
