Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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