Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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